What if you have an exploitative spouse

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 How to conduct yourself, when you have a very exploitative spouse

 

Are you talking about how to conduct him or yourself? Actually, you want to know how to fix him. So this is very important, that we are straight with life, What you want is your husband to be fixed. You want to know how to fix
this man. We do not know, what he is, but if you perceive him as exploitative, obviously you want to fix him. 

What if you perceive yourself as a problematic wife 

Then maybe some thought about, "Maybe I want to fix myself", will come up. When you perceive somebody as exploitative, the intention is to fix him.  

But we wouldn't want to be straight about that because the culture doesn't allow you. 

 

The culture has made males superior to females

The culture tells you: "Fixing your husband is not a good thing, you must fix yourself". So, if you get a headache, go for foot surgery-then the foot will be aching more than the head, kind of fixed. At least your attention is gone. So it's time if we are concerned about life, it's time that we are one hundred per cent straight, at least with ourselves.

No one knows what the other person is going through

Maybe in the world, we don't know what profession you have, what situations you have, we don't know how straight you can be. I will not interfere, but at least with yourself you must be hundred per cent straight. It's very important. Otherwise, neither you nor your life situations will ever get fixed, simply complaining and going on won’t do. 

Life will be a lifelong complaint for a whole lot of people 

Because they don't want to address it, they want to beat around it. So we must do a husband-fixing program. No, we have fixed a whole lot of them, because they become meditative and suddenly their exploitative nature went away because they are busy with something else. 

 

But you must bring meditativeness into you and your family 

This is something we have to invest into your life now. If you're not able to fix your husband, at least you must have a wish that the next generation of husbands is not exploitative. If you are interested in that, you must make sure the little boy that you have right now, you must fix him now with some meditation. Meditation is not about fixing him against something. It's just that meditativeness means becoming in such a way that you are not the source of the problem. Wherever you are, you are a solution, you are not a problem. 

If you become a solution 

 

Everybody will want you wherever you are. Whether it's your workplace, your family, on the street, wherever, or whoever seems like a solution, that person everybody wants.

Either you are a problem or you are the one who complains about the problem.

Nobody wants to see your face, you must know this. But if you are a solution, everybody wants you everywhere Including your husband. He will desperately want you if you are a solution to his life. 

Hence, it's important you look to be a solution to their problems. 

If after that you decide what you need to know and do, it will be much better 

After that you decide whether you need marriage, you don't need marriage, you need children, you don't need children, all these things you decide later. When this (Referring to oneself) is miserable, you have no business to multiply it. 

Misery- I can't get along with my husband. I can't get along with my wife". Already children, children, children coming, why? You cannot get along, how is this happening?

 

Because we have chosen to live unconsciously

It doesn't mean to live this way or that way. Whatever the hell you do, you do it by choice and consciously, that's all, knowing the full implications of what it means. That much responsibility everybody must take. If you do not bring (it) into this, you will be a lifelong complaint. 

You bring this much into your life. You have made yourself in such a way that you are a result of an unconscious process, you are not a result of a conscious process. If you think so, you are bound to be a miserable accident.

Conclusion 

It's time for every human being takes responsibility to at least change this much, then we can talk about big things like Ultimate Salvation. Don't utter these words. First, fix the fundamentals. The fundamentals are just this – whatever the hell you are right now, it's yours. Either you must have the courage to change it or you must learn to settle into it, one of these things you must do. Simply endless complaints for the rest of your is no good. It's just that we must understand if we are in a certain state, everything feels like it's against us. You fix this (Referring to oneself), and after that, you decide which way life should be. You stay there, there's a consequence. You get out, there's a consequence. Everything there is a consequence. But at least let it be a conscious consequence, instead of being a helpless, unconscious state of existence.